Identity Unconfirmed

 
 

To be a lonely wolf? It’s forbidden,
but nobody really wants to
be that, so we could say
that demands of the world and wishes
of a person are evened,
it’s like I’m in that supermarket
Strummer sang about
and I listened laying on a
carpet,
only I’m not lost, but navigated
by economy without
a free market,
there is only one identity on sale
made out of red and white cubes,
with many rules
pointless and unexplained
without any clues,
for example, to be obsessed with past
that is done and you never witnessed,
scary and terrible war that the proudest seem
to wish to see reset,
in addition, despise your neighbour from the state border on
the east,
both Balkan houses agree
that their residents are traitors
if they gather up for friendship, talk and feast,
another big rule
that dried my croatian cheer flood,
insisting on being a nation sponsored and protected by god,
political role of a church I found questioning very,
I respect those who seek in faith their consolation
but to me it’s just another tale
that’s fairy,
I left the shop as I couldn’t
identify with a random identity that’s birth-claimed,
to find something different I tried to aim,
I visited smugglers selling subcultures in
the dark black alleys,
their shady kingdom looked like wonderland
where Carroll placed Alice,
they were selling punk, geek, hippie
emo and hip hop on main display,
all of them had their charms
but not enough for me to choose
only one for my way,
none of it represents my self,
guess cause I’m not a set of rules and codes
displayed on a shelf,
they kicked the hell out of me for
wasting their time,
they emptied my pockets
leaving me without a single dime,
a pretty redhead girl with black frame glasses was there
and saw what happened to me,
she rushed towards me and I thought she might apologise for people being so mean,
that she would say that it’s OK not to identify with any entity,
that she wouldn’t want to put me in a drawer, label and sentence
me,
but instead, to my grief she asked:
“Mister! Mister! Have you ever thought about being a hipster?”

 

— This poem appears in
Are We Europe #3: Uprooted

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